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I have begun to consider that psychoanalytic psychotherapy
itself can be a meditative practice for the therapist.
The therapist can use the challenge of self awareness
in the work of therapy to deepen his or her own
spiritual practice while helping the patient.
This realization is the result of my own exploration
over many years in trying to find what worked for
me in becoming a happier person and integrating
that into my work as a therapist so that I can better
help my patients.
My decision to become a psychotherapist started
as a quest for personal meaning. I t evolved from
a yearning to pursue my own spiritual and intellectual
journey. Initially I was motivated by a desire to
be comfortable with myself, to decrease the anxiety
I felt in so many situations, and to feel more effectual.
Toward this end, I entered therapy which helped
me resolve many issues, but left me longing for
something else that I couldn’t identify at
that time. I felt as if I needed something more,
so in the late 1970’s I began to take the
“New Age” trainings which had mushroomed.
It was a pregnant time in which people were trying
to grow in all sorts of ways and were open to trying
new paths.
I learned from “Silva Mind Control”
how to meditate and to use highly effective techniques
available to attain different goals. From the “Sedona
Method” I learned that I wasn’t my feelings,
that I had feelings and that I could let go of uncomfortable
feelings if I so chose. I did many week or longer
trainings in Sedona, Arizona which were transformative
for me. I became a Sedona Method workshop leader
which considerably strengthened my own resolve to
keep centering. I took the “Loving Relationships
Training” and became an assistant, and also
learned “Rebirthing”. I stayed in an
Ashram in India with the Herakaan Baba. I studied
the “Course in Miracles”, a Christian
teaching, and, later, Jewish meditation as taught
by Mindy Ribner.
I was growing in wisdom and spirituality. I was
also evaluating what did and didn’t work for
me. I realized that as much as I was learning that
was profound and wonderful, something was missing
for me. What I hadn’t experienced was an ongoing
commitment with someone else to work consistently
together to help me with what I couldn’t help
myself with. It wasn’t my way to follow someone
else’s path or I could have found a “guru”.
I needed to feel safe to think and believe whatever
felt right to me without concern that I was offending
someone or that I was being “bad”. I
needed someone who would have a framework for understanding
my deepest feelings in a coherent way, who could
see and respect my deepest pain and still be willing
to work with me although neither of us has a ready
answer or method to cure the problem.
In 1995, I began to learn psychoanalysis at NIP
(National Institute for the Psychotherapies). Although
I had been a therapist since 1977 and had already
studied family systems therapy and group therapy,
I wished to move more deeply into understanding
how to help people from the most profound places
in oneself. During my four years of training, I
focused on what I was learning and on building an
analytic identity. It felt disloyal to this identity
to use knowledge learned from EMDR, family systems
therapy, and my spiritual evolvement. I needed support
to expose all these various “parts”
of my personal and professional identity. When one
of NIP’s founders, Dr. Henry Grayson developed
the Spirituality and Psychotherapy program, I began
to feel legitimized to begin to integrate these
aspects of myself.
What I felt had been missing in learning psychoanalysis
and in my own therapies was an awareness of the
influence of love. Freud had wanted psychoanalysis
to be accepted and respected as a science, and he
was careful not to do anything that would jeopardize
that goal. However, he once wrote to a friend that
“the secret of therapy is to cure through
love…”. I believe it is the underlying
lovingness for our patients/clients that is essential
in healing along with other essential ingredients
such as knowledge, technique and integrity. And
I further believe that it is spiritual practice
which reminds us to ground ourselves in the safety
to love and open ourselves to our “higher
wisdom”.
I see a natural synergy between psychoanalysis
and the practice of spirituality. I am defining
the practice of spirituality as a method we deliberately
institute to remember the connection between ourselves
and G-d, Higher Power, the All, Etc., the source
from which we derive our deep sense of peace, love,
“allrightness”, and healing which is
always available to us. There are many belief systems
and accompanying practices such as prayer, Zen,
mindfulness meditation, Jewish meditation, Christian
meditation, Buddhism, and others. Once we identity
a way that resonates within us, it is necessary
to decide how to do this practice. Where, how often,
alone or with whom? I believe the practice of psychoanalysis
can be thought of as one such practice.
Let us consider what the practice of psychoanalysis
is about. We may have relatively different ideas
depending on our theoretical orientations, but I
think of psychoanalytic practice as providing a
relational structure for the patient to more fully
come to know and accept her/himself so that she/he
can feel more loving and healed, more fully alive
and present. Psychoanalysis describes our working
concepts in language such as analytic neutrality,
even hovering attention, therapist as container,
potential space in which to play and consider. All
of which suggests to me the nonjudgmental, centering
aspects of spiritual practice.
The therapist’s contribution includes creating
a quiet internal space for experiencing and for
the unfolding of process. It is openness to what
the patient is expressing, curiosity about what
is taking place within the patient, between patient
and therapist, and within the therapist. It is the
capacity to tolerate the patient’s feelings
and our own in a context of love and respect. It’s
centering ourselves in a healing surround. It is
knowing that whatever is taking place, there is
a greater context of Safety. I believe that to do
our best work, we need to center ourselves and let
thoughts come to us and through us. We need to get
out of our own way in order to be a container and
facilitator of the process. Being grounded in a
spiritual framework seems crucial to this transformation.
I have found that being centered and grounded in
the consulting room with the patient and allowing
whatever evolves to take place in an organic way
is a spiritual practice. At times, transformative
shifts or revelations between therapist and patient
take place that are quite unexpected and moving.
I think of these as transcendent moments. I believe
we can deliberately increase our capacity to be
a loving spiritual presence and provide a greater
likelihood for such moments to occur. In being the
blessing, we are blessed.
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