the online magazine about life as a creative process

 

The Horse in the Basement

 

by Tim Baehr

 

 

     
 

It's impossible to tell what Sharon's motivation was. At age ten, she probably wouldn't have known herself. But the whopper she told had two of her neighbor girls convinced: Sharon was keeping a pet horse in her basement.

My wife's memory is a little hazy after fifty years or so. She does remember that Sharon was a plain, almost ugly girl, living with an obese single mother and a morbidly obese aunt. She had few friends. Did she really believe in her own imagination - for her, was there a real horse in the basement? Did she wish so hard that she had a horse that it had become real? Was she just trying to get attention? Or was she simply lying, and living the pleasure in hoodwinking two other little girls?

And hoodwinked they were. They were desperate to see this horse, perhaps because of a combination of young girls' fascination with horses and the thrill of having an actual horse in the neighborhood - albeit in a highly unorthodox location.

Day after day, Ann and Martha asked if they could visit the horse, or even just see it from the top of the basement steps. Day after day, Sharon came up with plausible reasons why a visit was out of the question. The horse was resting. The horse was asleep. She had to go feed the horse, and it was skittish. There were no doubt other reasons, now lost to the decades.

An interesting thing about lies or self-delusions: For the victims of the lies, the horse was real, almost tangible.

There must have come a point at which the ruse was exposed, but the mists of time have swirled over the details. One possibility is that Ann's mother, initially amused by the girls' antics, became exasperated and gave the two little victims a piece of harsh reality. Whatever happened, the fantasy of the horse, if not the horse itself, died a natural death.

Why do I find this story so appealing? I think it's because we are all at times one or another of the characters. In our desperation to be noticed, and to connect to other people, we make up our own horses - big and little lies or self-deceptions to put excitement in our lives and capture the attention of other people. In our need for adventure and novelty, we are flattered by secret information and confidences, even when they stretch our credulity. And in our exasperation with other people's silliness (or perhaps our jealousy over their enthusiasms and adventures), we go about popping the multicolored bubbles of their pleasant and harmless fantasies. We may even be the horse, a wondrous creature hidden away in the basement of our psyches and fed by our fantasies.

 
     
 

 

     
 

Tim Baehr is the editor of Menletter: A Journal for Men.

 
     

 

     
   
     

 

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